"All God's Angels Come To Us Disguised"

Recently, I've been looking to get a new dog. A somewhat difficult task considering that I truly miss my two dogs that I had before. They're gone back to the ex and with her recent marriage, I'm not allowed to see them. Out of respect I choose not to battle, I know she cares for them also.

I miss the mannerisms of Lucy and Lily. They truly are a life saver. I have tons and tons of pictures of them and I can't help but smile when I think of the times I had with them. They truly are angels. I miss them so much and I think about them every day. I'm truly blessed to have had them in my life. I miss them.

Though some days it's easy to think about replacing them, there are days that make it seem impossible to ever replace them or the relationship I had with them. I didn't form a bond with those dogs, they became family. It was second nature for Lily to be where I was and Lucy to well... be Lucy.

It sucks. When times get rough, I wish they were here. They always had a knack for how I was feeling. They were something else.

Another boring weekend, with a loss to open our indoor football season. I played like complete dog shit. Mind is out running around somewhere still. It reminded me of a game I played back in 2009. I need to find the passion again.

I miss my dogs, I miss her. Time will heal all and hopefully things will start looking up. I had two fortune cookies that says that it will. So, come on fortune cookies!

Have a great week all. I'll try to do my best to keep writing, it's suppose to be good for me.


Song of the Day: Diddy/Dirty Money - Coming Home

What is a soul mate?

"A soulmate or soul mate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join."

Oh word Wikipedia? That's what that is? I'm starting to find that hard to beleive. I fell in love once, and it failed. I fell in love again, then it failed.

I fell in love FOR SURE another time, she was my soul mate! Nope, she left me for the produce guy.

I gave up. I didn't give two shits less about the opposite sex. They came, they went. Then she came into my life. . .

I never wanted to fall for this girl... and at first, I didn't. I was loyal and for months just was there, loved her unconditionally. Up and downs. I knew at that time that she wasn't what I wanted in a relationship. Holy shit, was I wrong.

After each relationship, I said nope, no more, no getting whooped, nada, ain't happening again. Here I am, again, broken.

I watched a show last night that asked a good question. "What if you had more than one soulmate?" What if I was born here and my soul mate was born on the opposite side of the Earth? That's unfair right?

I don't believe in it anymore. I don't believe in love. The only thing I believe in is tomorrow. How is it that you fall for someone, you remember every little detail about that person emotionally, mentally and physically then they're gone in literally a second?

You reach your highest of highs when you're in love. You remember the most simple of things, when they accidently hit ya in the face, the way they dance, their facial expressions when you say something stupid, but then heartbreak.

Life's a cycle of up and downs but it doesn't always have to be down. I never pictured I'd fall for her. I'd never picture I'd be where I'm at. But I am.

But that's love. I don't have to beleive in it. Because it believes in me. It hits me harder than anything on this Earth can. Love.. pssh!

I was once told, "When someone truly loves you, they will inspire you to do your best". Well, I'm done inspiring. It's about time I get inspired. I'm perfect supposedly. But sometimes "perfection can be perfect hell".

More later. One love.


Song of the first part of the day: The Script - Breakeven

Boop.

Boop.

Song of the Day: Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are

Another Day

Couldn't sleep much last night, fell asleep on the couch at 4 AM.

It's "Chemistry" they say. If we can figure out my "chemistry", we'll be able to fix my head.

Well, we'll see.

For those that know what I'm talking about yeah, we'll see.

Today was okay, I don't have anything better to do so I ordered NetFlix. It's pretty dope actually. I'm thinking about finishing up some shows I use to watch back when.

Anyways, I miss the girls. Soooo much. I was looking at a bunch of pictures from the past year and it makes me miss them so much. The way they act, their actions, their barking and all that noise. I miss them so much. Truly just wanna rub their bellies.

I miss her too.

SONG OF THE DAY: Frankie J - We Still

Step One..

What exactly is step one?

What exactly is step one to?

I'm not really sure, but I do know that I have to take a step forward in order to get myself back on my feet. I truly do miss my two dogs more than anything. Texted the ex again and again she said no. I do respect that, but I also get upset because of the time I had them alone I formed a special bond with them. A bond that I know will be inseperable. (Hence the tattoo on my arm of their eyes)

Found out today that work will be super extra slow. Something that I don't know will be good. A lot time means a lot of down time, thinking time. I always find myself looking at my phone as well, an old habit. I miss her. Let's leave it at that.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to keep my search on for another dog. I'm debating on either a lab or a siberian husky. The roommates are down with either and with my spare time, I think it'll be nice to have someone around.

Well, I hope things get better. Have a special appointment tomorrow. Wish me luck. I learned today it's okay to miss and think about someone, it's okay to miss the dogs, but it's not okay to think about them not there in the future. No matter how hard it is.


SONG OF THE DAY: Something Corporate - Konstantine

Blogging Again

Most people don't blog. Most men don't blog. My mind runs and goes so far out there sometimes that I have no choice but to blog. I have pages and pages of stuff written down in notebooks when I sit and think.

Either it be "song" or "poem" (I'm neither a poet or a singer) I write it down either on my notepad on my phone or if there is a pen and paper around I write it down. So, here it is. My blog, open for the public to see.

I was told by a family friend that my mind is the most interesting thing that no one knows about. That people only see what I want them to see. That when you sit down with me for two hours and ask me about life, that I truly am the most interesting, weird, strange person in the world. I've been told I'm witty but intriguing.

I don't disagree because my mind runs a million miles. And lately, it's been working overtime. With recent activities in my life (which I will dwell about in other posts), I will treat you to a mind of someone who has no idea what is even in his own head.

You'll get more (I was told that work will be slow for 60 days) posts than ever. And hopefully I can help you in your everyday life or situation with the words that I say.

SONG OF THE DAY - James Blunt - You're Beautiful

Stuck In The Moment..

Today was a little longer than yesterday.
Thoughts of you were never wasted away.
Memories of smiles that will last a lifetime.
When I was yours and you were mine.
Cloudy days will cover up tears and pain.
But all the memories will keep me sane.
Your happiness is the key to tomorrow.
For tomorrow, is where I'll go.
For what happens tomorrow, no one knows.
Today was a little longer than yesterday.
But at least today is over, and so is yesterday.

"To get to Heaven, you have to go through Hell"

Take a moment in your life to watch this video.

It truly is an amazing story.

My Return To The Blog World

My return to the blog world...

Coming.. Soon...